people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize
