through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
