I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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