It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
