There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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