i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize