yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
