there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
