DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
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