i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
