the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
