youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
