That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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