??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
