Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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