come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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