His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize