I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
they need to just BURY HIM!
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
