Michael Bay diarrhea
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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