Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
