it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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