He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
