he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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