I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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