I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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