You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
