my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
