I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
