I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
