Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
