I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Boobs speak an international language.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Sorry about my life...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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