New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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