thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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