Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
