Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize