Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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