Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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