it hurts more in the daytime
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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