at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
