She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
