So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
