he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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