I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
