Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
