the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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