I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
