i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
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