She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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