but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
