CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
