After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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