I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
