he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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