ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
