My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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