So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
